Party like it's 1929Kids in the future will study this document as a blurb in their social history textbooks. In 1929, people threw themselves off bridges.* In 2009, they used their stimulus money to buy distressed suede hobo jackets from Urban Outfitters. Who needs F.D.R. when you've got irony?
Is life getting a little too "hard knock?" Is the exponential decline of the middle-class bumming you out? Can you neither get money nor get paid? If so, then join [us] for the kind of stimulus plan that will have you screaming, "Please sir, may I have some more!?!" I, Brian James Kelly, host of Paisley Extravaganza 2008 and general roustabout, am fashioning my 23rd birthday party to reflect our current economic turmoil. Thus, on February 20th, tie your handkerchief to a stick, jump on a boxcar, and see how the other half gets down. After all, you can't spell poverty without PRTY.
Some refreshments shall be provided, but B-ing YOB would be much appreciated--we're in a fucking recession. Ideal beverages include Colt 45 and other malt liquors, MD 20/20, Irish Rose, and other hobo-oriented libations.
In lieu of presents, please bring scratch-off lotto tix for the birthday boy.
Costume suggestions: Oliver Twist, Lil Orphan Annie, Ponce crackheads, general oppressed cultural groups.
*This may or may not be true as my only knowledge of people's behavior during the Great Depression comes from It's a Wonderful Life. Additionally, George Bailey's speech during the run on the bank taught me everything I need to know about economics.
1 comment:
whoops...i may have replied to your comment by commenting on my own blog. clearly this was a passive-aggressive way to get you to go back and read my blog again. mwahahaha...
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