how should recent graduates job search?

On the drive back from Raleigh yesterday, I ate at Bojangles. I also talked on the phone with a friend who just graduated from a top university and is looking for a job. Though there are specific fields he is interested in — public transportation, marketing — he's open to almost anything, almost anywhere.

He's already avoiding the mistakes I made when I was applying for jobs a year ago, by getting specific. (I literally told friends and connections, "Well, I'd like to write, but really I'm just looking for anything." As if that wouldn't just overwhelm them.) He drove buses all through college, which puts him at a unique position to work in public transportation planning.

My friend has applied to dozens of jobs through corporate websites. He realizes that this has been fruitless, but he is at a loss for what else to do.

I encouraged him to pick a city, move there, and get connected, since he has some savings he can burn through for a few months.

And of course I told him Atlanta was the place to move. Cheap rent, lots of companies, and at least one really strong connection—me.

Was this good advice? Do you think it's better to hunker down in your parents' house and apply for jobs until you get something? Those of you who have gone through this, what would you tell my friend?

Image from thetastingbuds.com.

How to cut your own bangs in five minutes

I started cutting my own hair when I was unemployed, and now it's pretty hard to justify coughing up 50 bucks for a trim. Every couple of months I cut my bangs super short and just let them grow out until they turn into long scraggly grease muffins again.

I've been cutting my own hair for almost a year, and this weekend was the first time I didn't make a huge mess of my bathroom and face. Here's how.

Estimated time: 5 minutes.

1. Get a decent pair of scissors. Like this:

I think they generally run about $20. My roommate's parents happened to have some and she snagged them.

2. Spread a newspaper out over your bathroom sink. I used the Safari Gazette that I got for free at the Pine Mountain, Ga. Wild Animal Safari I went on last weekend for Brian's birthday. But any paper will work.

3. Wash your hair and dry your bangs. I SAID DRY! Drying them first is the secret. Using a comb and a hair dryer on high heat and low speed, brush them all to the left across your forehead, then to the right, back and forth until they are dry and fall straight down across your forehead.

4. Using a fine toothed comb, comb down a section of the bangs and... snip. Cut them a little longer than you think you want them, since they'll bounce back up after you release the comb.

5. Do this a few times and you've got yourself a haircut. Clean-up = throwing out the newspaper.


Obviously I now need to clean up those eyebrows.

irony trumps escapism, exhibit 4

forgot about this april fool's piece.

irony trumps escapism, exhibits 2 & 3

A.V. Club's 21 great films to put the recession in perspective

The Onion: Nation Instintively Forms Breadline

so glad we have the Internet in 2009. I much prefer its coping methods to the escapist cinema of 1929 Hollywood.

2009 is gonna be great, recession and all.

This is the best invitation I've seen since they came on actual paper:

Party like it's 1929

Is life getting a little too "hard knock?" Is the exponential decline of the middle-class bumming you out? Can you neither get money nor get paid? If so, then join [us] for the kind of stimulus plan that will have you screaming, "Please sir, may I have some more!?!" I, Brian James Kelly, host of Paisley Extravaganza 2008 and general roustabout, am fashioning my 23rd birthday party to reflect our current economic turmoil. Thus, on February 20th, tie your handkerchief to a stick, jump on a boxcar, and see how the other half gets down. After all, you can't spell poverty without PRTY.

Some refreshments shall be provided, but B-ing YOB would be much appreciated--we're in a fucking recession. Ideal beverages include Colt 45 and other malt liquors, MD 20/20, Irish Rose, and other hobo-oriented libations.

In lieu of presents, please bring scratch-off lotto tix for the birthday boy.

Costume suggestions: Oliver Twist, Lil Orphan Annie, Ponce crackheads, general oppressed cultural groups.

Kids in the future will study this document as a blurb in their social history textbooks. In 1929, people threw themselves off bridges.* In 2009, they used their stimulus money to buy distressed suede hobo jackets from Urban Outfitters. Who needs F.D.R. when you've got irony?

*This may or may not be true as my only knowledge of people's behavior during the Great Depression comes from It's a Wonderful Life. Additionally, George Bailey's speech during the run on the bank taught me everything I need to know about economics.