Monday's Gossip Girl: "Bonfire of the Vanity"

I don't have a lot to say about this episode. I could try harder, but I would just turn into one of those guys who spouts lines from Zoolander and laughs hysterically to himself while you force a toothless smile and check again to see if any of the friends you came with have texted you yet. Those guys make me never want to see Zoolander, and I wouldn't want to ruin The Greatest Show of Our Time (TM) for anybody by endless enthusiastic quoting.

That said:

--Aaron is the creepiest villain ever to grace the small screen. I have been having nightmares about him ever since he uttered those three words, Cecil the Caterpillar. Did my ears deceive me, or did he ask Serena to be his muse? Ew.

--Is "Bonfire of the Vanity" meant to describe the scene where Serena gushes over the photo installation of her terrible, terrible forced posing?

--Giant Strawberry makes a reappearance!


--Why no shots of Blair going around to all the jewelry shops in Manhattan and putting items on hold? It was a pretty big deal on her last birthday.

--What's wrong with Chuck lately? Has he still not... relieved himself? Chris & Jessica called attention to this in their reality index:

"[The story] will ruin our family," Chuck pleads to Dan. "Don't do it, please." Minus 4, because he would have assassinated Dan before saying please.

Thank you. I don't like that Chuck keeps acting so vulnerable and... human. I felt better about the world when he was evil and omnipotent, and we were left stunned -- first with glee, then slowly fear -- whenever the writers gave us a fleeting glimpse into his (arguably existent) soul.

--Finally, this is the Eighth Wonder of the World. Victoria, you are truly the Joan of Arc of the Internet Age. I think one reason I'm having trouble processing the episode is that I keep thinking about this. It's like when you play one of those "What's wrong with this picture?" games, and there are SO MANY things wrong with it that you get totally overwhelmed, and your pencil just sort of hovers over the picture, shaking, because you can't decide what to circle first.

I circle Dan Humphrey.

Can I get a Revive?