Gossip Girl: "The Dark Night" & "Never Been Marcussed" (Spoiler-free)

The good...

Somewhere amid all those long hours working for Anna Wintour, Little J. found some time for acting classes over the summer.

Vanessa is not nearly as hateable as she once was. Thank you, whoever decided Dan's self righteousness is enough for all the Brooklynites on the show. Actually, all Brooklynites everywhere. Actually, all people everywhere.

Nate's plotlines have progressed from utterly forgettable to mildly interesting. Seeing the writers revisit and develop Nate's problem with the Captain rather than let it dangle as a loose end or tie it up neatly, deus ex machina-style, reminds me why I love Gossip Girl (beyond the obvious reasons, i.e. Chuck Bass and Chuck Bass's swimming costume). I'm also happy to see the Mrs. Robinson affair (and Madchen Amick) used for more than a sizzling season opener. Nothing like a moral dilemma to complicate a prettyboy.

The bad...

Serena + Dan = SNOOZEFEST. Please stop teasing your fans with fake break-ups and end it for real.

Where is Lily Vanderwoodsen?

Rufus. As the CW website likes to say in its episode summaries, "Matthew Settle also stars." But my mother summed it up when she said, "Now he's a good-looking guy" (though I think Ellen puts it even better).

Rufus's "date" looked like she had the potential to out-boring Boring Child Mom Humphry. (By the way, CW, don't think I didn't catch that throwaway line of Rufus's: "...and Boring Child Mom Humphry says she plans on visiting soon." That line BETTER just be filler, CW!)

And finally, in a category all their own...

Chuck and Blair. Chuck. And Blair. Blairandchuck. I'm sweating. It's a shame the heat lies in the tease. But if they ever do get together we can at least expect more "On me you'd be so much more" moments.

"Titles aside, a suit of armor makes for a cold bedfellow." When is the rest of primetime going to take a cue from these two and realize the key ingredients to on-(and off-?)screen chemistry are wit and malice? I'm looking at you, "Teresa" and "Stan." Chuck: "Congrats on you and Humphry. Water always finds its own level." (I'm not even sure I know what that means.) But Twin Peaks said it first: "God, Dan is sweet. But he's so dumb. And right now I can only take so much of sweet." Did I say Dan? I meant James. In Twin Peaks it was James.